391. Mystic 

About connecting with ones true identity… 

I was called a mystic once, 

Then twice, and then,

Once more, and thrice,

I turned my mind away.

But with loves gaze, 

The greater play,

My growing heart,

Just beats away,

And now I see,

Through love repaid,

That I am what,

They used to say. 

(Photo – Eli Woodbine, Canada, 2016) 

10 Comments Add yours

  1. Very cool poem. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. eliwoodbine says:

      I was wondering whether you would relate to this.

      All signs have pointed toward a long overdue revelation I came to lately. I cannot escape the work I must do. It must be my focus.

      I am nothing more than the pencil, with which love will write a masterpiece.

      I am the humblest part of its glorious plan.

      If that makes sense?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Not the humblest part — the key ingredient. And yeah, it makes total sense to me. I believe in the Muse. I believe that art can be something like prayer, even the media with which it’s made is miraculous whether words or pigment. It’s all just amazing and to have to calling to be its partner in the service of inspiration? It’s funny but this thing I wrote in my late 20s that I’ve recently been typing is about that exact thing. A lot of people plan their lives according to some (apparently) pragmatic system. Others are compelled, driven, inspired (?) and it IS mystical.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. eliwoodbine says:

        Perhaps I, like you, have come to the same place. A place of deep contemplation. I recently turned 27, it’s interesting that our ages line up in that respect.

        My frustration, if I’m honest, has been growing at my inability to properly, materially, represent the beauty that I have found. I am simply struggling to express it.

        I recently saw some incredible work by Van Gogh, Monet and my new favourite painter Eugene Janssen. It moved me to tears. These people have managed what I so badly want to. They have created beauty, they have expressed the same inner truth that I too have found. The cosmic truth that aligns us all.

        I remain young, and may find a means on the adventure trail. But I regularly feel like I’m wasting time. Time I should better spend dedicated to trying to replicate the beauty I see just beyond my human reach.

        It’s hard to explain really. But I wanted to share with you, as I feel you understand.

        Either way, thanks for listening. It means a lot.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I was very relationshiply fucked up because I’d been married for six years to a very abusive man/kid when I was 20. At the time I wrote this thing, the marriage had ended a few years earlier, and I didn’t make the connection that my (intense) fear of love was at all related to that. That’s one thing.

        But the other thing — and I was aware of it — was that the choices my friends were making had no resonance for me. I didn’t care about money, prestige or a profession. I wasn’t “going” anywhere. Anyway, my understanding crystalized on a trip to the very part of the US where I now live (I find that absolutely amazing). In this “story” I wrote exactly the revelation I had. “I wanted to go home and write stories. I realized it was all I had ever wanted to do. Succeed, fail, whatever the outcome, there was nothing else. Inspiration, no other motive, deserved my life.”

        That was it. The REST is learning to do it well. I hope I have learned that; I hope I do it well, remaining true to my own vision of what my work wants to be and, at the same time, doing it so others have access to it.

        For me, creative work has meant reaching far beyond myself. I didn’t know that when I drew my line in the sand. And it hasn’t turned out to be “only” writing and that has been one of the coolest things about it. I made a commitment to enter life with the full expectation of the gods finding me worthy of their breath.

        I look forward to hearing your adventures and, uh, welcome. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      4. eliwoodbine says:

        Your story is admirable and brimming with truth. I too have had a sustained experience of a complete absence of love, and I am lucky to be alive today. I’m so sorry to hear about your experiences of abuse.

        I’m sure that love has breathed many a word through you, as it will through me should I persevere.

        One question, did you ever feel weighed down by the magnitude of the task?

        Liked by 1 person

      5. No. Never. It’s important not to take ones self too seriously and to realize that the ONLY serious consequences are those to you if you don’t follow the star. It really doesn’t matter to anyone else. The star is a guide, a friend, a whip and a lover.

        You have no control at all over how other people understand your work so they kind of don’t even matter unless you find yourself connected to something that wants to be heard. Then you have to follow that, too. But it’s truly all good. You just do it, master the craft of it (mostly by following your heart and seeking tutelage from masters who have achieved what you hope to and practicing). The whole thing is an experience and it changes a person.

        I practiced for 15 years before I walked into my first real story. It was as if it had been waiting for me. It was WAY out of my reach but life without accomplishing it was just silly. And I still love it probably more than anything. What took me there? Maybe someday we’ll meet and can have a long conversation about destiny’s absurd and ridiculous twists.

        Liked by 1 person

      6. eliwoodbine says:

        Very interesting. I completely relate to all that you say. Perhaps the pressure I feel is tethered to the fact that what I am connected to must be heard. Just not with the current words I own.

        I must learn a whole other subtle, non-disclosed, language to even come close to sharing the secret that must be shared.

        There is pressure there. Or maybe it is merely inferred, as truthfully, should I not complete this work in my lifetime it will surely pass to someone else to be completed long after my body is returned to atomic nothingness.

        It’s peculiar, but very purposeful and for that I am grateful.

        I am also working on my impatience. I realise that it is both a gift and a curse. I get a lot done, but not without frustration at how much more I must do.

        That is probably something I will grow out of.

        I would love to meet some day to talk through these things. In some ways, you’ve been quite the mentor without even realising it.

        There are so very few people who can come close to understanding my journey.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Just keep at it. It, itself, is both the destination and the road. 🙂 Have fun!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. eliwoodbine says:

      That I shall do. 🙂 thanks for your support.

      Liked by 1 person

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