100. Re-invent.

 

I’ve done it! 100 posts in 100 days. 

100 days ago I promised myself that I would post for an entire year and I’m almost 1/3 there. 

I set myself this challenge, knowing it would be tough, because I now know that with a little grit and faith anything is possible. For my 100th post I want to tell the story of my life so far, in a bid to help people realise that genuine faith in themselves is all they truly need to take on the challenges that life throws their way, that, and that there is true value in at least attempting to fulfill dreams. 

It truly shocks me how little faith many  people I meet have in their infinite opportunity and ability to reinvent themselves. With every passing second we miss another opportunity to change for the better and creep one second closer to our demise. Why waste it? Why not decide that we want something else? 

Something better. 

Why not go out there and grab it? 

This is my story.

When I was a young teen I had one dream, and one dream alone. To be a free spirited and famous musician. So, with a handful of friends, I set about making music. At first, whilst still in school, I was bullied for the music I made. Admittedly, it wasn’t great music, but it was hard to hear so much negativity. Fastforward 6, hard grafted, years and I am stepping onto a stage in front of 1600 people, the loud wall of screaming battering me and covering me with goose pimples. I sing my heart out and in that perfect moment fulfill my earliest dream. Here is a little snap from the back of the stage.

 

My next dream, was to have my own place to live and a deeper peace of mind. I resolved myself to better my life. The first issue I needed to address was why, when I was succeeding in music and fulfilling my dream, I remained unhappy with my life. The most outwardly expression of this was within my deeply lacking body confidence.

I was fat…

…And I hated it. I never smiled in photos. Pulling a silly face would distract people from the fat, the horrible horrible fat. 

Being fat was less about eating too much and more about being so far from happy that comfort could only be found in food. 

Food and alcohol became a crutch. 

I decided to reinvent myself. 

I quit live music, had therapy, confronted many issues and learnt how to like myself. Within this process I lost a significant amount of weight and found myself eventually working in ad technology. With the added disposable income I was able to not only have the flat that I desired, but also had enough to spend on a few little holidays. This was me and my friend in Mallorca. 

  

I was still podgy, but note the smile! 

The process was not constant and there were blips, but with continued work on my physical being and mental health I continued to grow as a person. I started playing with ideas of playing football. 

So I reinvented myself…

… and with practise ended up playing in the International gay games in Stockholm (oh, and I had come out to everyone by then). This is me with the team. 

  

But still, I wanted more. 

I decided to reinvent myself again.

 Having always wanted to be a skater from a young age, I used to play Tony Hawks Pro Skater on the PsOne, I decided to just go for it. With dedicated practise I learnt how to longboard and I am now the skater I always wanted to be. 

  

I soon bored of London, wanting a new place to live. 

So I decided to reinvent myself. 

I flew out for an interview in Canada, for an ad tech Job, and decided that I wanted to live in Toronto. After passing the interview I became a Sales Director, for a Toronto based company, and moved to Toronto. Within this process it became apparent that I had started to love myself and make decisions that made me happy. I now have a flat that I am really proud of. 

This is the kitchen. I love it. 

 

I am currently writing a book and continuing to sing. I am a longboarder and have a lasting interest in philosophy. 
I am 26. 

Where will I go to next? Who knows?

All I know, is as long as I live I will continue to reinvent myself. 

Never live with limits. Be what you want to be. Always. 

(Photos – Eli Woodbine, International, 2010-2016)